Isn't it weird?

It's strange how natural it feels to be living so far from home. It doesn't feel weird at all. The transition was so easy. Sure, the first two weeks or so were somewhat tough, and I may get a little homesick from time to time, but it makes me feel proud for some reason that everything has worked out so well. 

For months, from the time I was accepted here all through the summer, it never hit me just how far away I was going to school. People would say it all the time whenever I told them where I was going, but it never really registered. Every time my Grandmother called, literally up until I left, she'd ask again if I was "really going all the way out there?", "but aren't there plenty of good schools around here?", as if I still hadn't sent in the deposit in late April. Sometime in the week before I left, I was suddenly hit with this giant sense of dread. I've lived in the same house, in the same town since I was born. Why was I going so far away from everyone I love, making my parents spend so much just so that I can go somewhere "cool"? Sure it's a great school, but do I even belong there? Had I just been trying to prove something? I started to get the feeling that people were thinking that. Neighbors and relatives didn't seem to believe that I understood what I was getting into, the "culture shock" they seemed to think I was in for. I'm probably exaggerating, but then that's the paranoia I was feeling just before I left. Saying goodbye to my brother and sister, now that was a reaction I didn't expect. I cried so much, but not just because I knew I wouldn't be seeing them again for almost 4 months. "Don't be scared", my sister told me. I guess she could tell. I guess I'm not as great an actor as I'd like to believe sometimes. Seeing my parents walk away the night I said goodbye to them, my Dad actually crying, now that freaked me out. My mom even reminded me that I could always transfer, and that actually comforted me. I'll be honest, I spent a few nights muffling the sobs, hoping my roommates wouldn't hear.

Admitting that actually makes it seem like my transition wasn't all that smooth. But before I knew it, that had passed. Everything fell into place; school, friends, a sense of comfort and belonging.  I love it here. I'm completely confident that this was the perfect choice after all. The people I've met, the things I've been doing, it's like a dream come true. And I don't give a shit that that was cliche. I still miss things, especially at this time of year. Random smells, sounds, conversations, and people constantly remind me of my friends and family and home. I can't wait to be back with all of them, but I already feel like I have a family and a home her, too. It's a great feeling to find that all of your misgivings were wrong. Suddenly, four years doesn't seem like enough time here. Maybe I just got lucky on a gamble, but it makes me a lot more confident about any other big changes I'll be facing in the future.