I MUSTACHE you a question...

...but I'll shave it for later. 


Who doesn't love a good pun? Especially when it involves mustaches- Thus begins my long-winded explanation of my fixation with mustache-humor.

I speak, first and foremost, about the phenomenon knowns as fingerstaches(I've only recently found out that this is the official name, which was depressing considering I had previously thought that my friends and I came up with it). If you don't know what I'm talking about(though I think you do, since I only know of two people who read this blog and they are definitely both well aware), then I suggest you educate yourself, because you are missing out my friend. Below, you will find a visual manifestation of what I'm talking about.

As you can see, one merely draws a mustache upon the index finger(using a sharpie or what-have-you), and then places said finger betwixt the nose and mouth, in a manner mimicking the actual presence of a mustache. 

Fingerstaches are hilarious. Plain and simple. In fact, I think the simplicity of the concept is really the key to its humor. Perhaps it's just the fact that something so commonplace can be made to look so utterly ridiculous, merely by tattooing it temporarily onto a bodily appendage, that makes it so enjoyable for me.

And it doesn't stop there. Oh no. Out of finger staches there has emerged a slew of mustache related items that are now being produced to my utter . Since my friends and family are fully aware of my stache-obsession, I now own all of the following items:

• Various adhesive mustaches from vending machines. 
• A removable, full-form fake mustache- purchased in a novelty store in Cleveland.
• A mustache mug- picturing famous mustaches belonging to such individuals as Salvidor Dali, Mark Twain, and Freud... as well as Frida Kahlo's eyebrows.
• Fingerstache tattoos- including various styles and sent across the country to me by a friend in Pittsburgh who knew that it would mean that much. 
• A gigantic mustache magnet- I have yet to figure out what to do with this Christmas present, besides clearing everything else of the fridge and sticking it on there, because it would literally take up that much room. 
• And now, at last, a mustache joke t-shirt!-actually the same joke that I began with, and sent to me just yesterday me by my friend in Denver, who saw it and bought it for me without hesitation, for which I am forever grateful. 

Honestly, the variety of mustache t-shirts out there right now is astounding. Every single one is hilarious. I'm quite fond of mine, though. I would probably wear it every day for the rest of my life, if only society was accepting of such things. Every other object imaginable also now comes mustache-themed. I know this because every few weeks(and sometimes multiple times in a day) I'm sent pictures or texts of mustache-themed jokes, signs, jewelry, and etc from friends.


I would like to add that, despite the sheer giddiness a good fingerstache induces in me, I do not particularly enjoy them in their natural state. That is, I'm not really attracted to facial fuzz on an actual person. Not disgusted by it either, indifferent really, but I just wanted to make sure it's clear that I DO NOT have any kind of mustache fetish. I'm no freak, thank you.

In conclusion, this probably won't be the last mustache post I write, so this really isn't a conclusion. I think I was just gushing with mustache-fever, prompted by what I received in the mail yesterday. This is probably THE longest post I've written as of yet. Not sure if I'm particularly proud of that. Let's face it, I could write a book about my love for all things mustache............





...more word on book deals later.



Hope you enjoy this Coley!