Indifferent, and ok with it.

As usual, this is not what I should be doing right now, but life is just too good not to document at the moment.

It's becoming more apparent that this blog is now functioning mainly as a device through which I can gush about things that I'm happy about. This is probably getting pretty annoying for my readers(Coley), but since I — like many people my age — am still on the fence about my religious feelings, I think something just makes me feel like I need to acknowledge the good stuff in my life...even if not outrightly being thankful for it...even though I am.

It's confusing, I know, but I was raised in a church-going family that made me go to Sunday school every week and sing in the church choir for years. I also have an unbelievably sweet and kind and very-much Jesus-loving(nothing wrong with it) grandmother who sends me weekly letters reminding me how special I am and that she prays for me "ever A.M. and P.M., and sometimes in between". Despite all of this, my siblings and I all seem to have turned out fairly agnostic. This doesn't really bother our parents, but I think  —at least in my Dad's case —it still makes them a little uneasy... or disappointed, I don't know.

I like to think that I still recognize how lucky I am and don't take things too much for granted. Of course I do sometimes — we all do, right? — but I honestly can't ignore how fucking great life is sometimes. That may not have been the most eloquent way to phrase that, but I think it sums up my feelings rather well.

Maybe it's mostly laziness that keeps me from making up my mind about about religion. It's so easy to say "I don't agree with organized religion" and cite all of the flaws throughout history. Most of us are really just using our youth as an excuse to be indifferent about it, as we do about pretty much everything else. In some respects, I do think that I shouldn't have to make my mind up now. I don't feel like there's a rush. I don't have any problem with people who are respectfully and intelligently religious, but I cannot imagine myself following a single-set dogma for the rest of my life unquestioningly like others.

Sometimes, I get a little envious of that kind of faith. I'm sure a lot of people do.

That concludes tonight's random giddy outburst. I'll try to actually come about something next time.
Here's a nice happy music video with pretty people farting butterflies.